Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I need help removing her.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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