i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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