so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize