so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
