is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
