I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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