Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So much Jack, so little girl.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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