come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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