you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
