how can u be prego again
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
