we need to drink 2009 down the drain
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
