I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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