Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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