OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
