Yo dont text me then not text me
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
