Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
