Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
