just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
