Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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