I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
