This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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