college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
