Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
