yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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