whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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