i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
operation harelip BJ is a go
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
