Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
