the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
