It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
