Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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