I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
