I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
