Where did you get a picture of my penis
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
