I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My hand turned me down
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
