Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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