if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
