TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
