I'm eating all of the evidence.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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