i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
