ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
