so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
