to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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