im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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