Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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