Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
