I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize