Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
honey bunches of taint.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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