I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
