i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
pray to the hookup gods
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
