Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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