Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
