I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize