This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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