i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
