Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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