Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
