The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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