I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
