I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
