found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize