I think I am morally bankrupt
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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